4x5 Portraits

This is probably my favorite portrait of all time. I had to drag this kid into the studio twice to get it. Taken with a 4x5 camera. Bobby is one of the sweetest kids though so he was really patient and generous with his time.

Hidden

Rower

Wild Thing

Adam

         He was a fun guy, but like most drug addicts, basically a shit person. I miss him anyway. He could do the best fake accents and sing "Like A Stone" better than anyone I knew.

Plugged In

Brian: lol what do you need, love?


me: find/create a program that posts the same thing to all my blogs. GO!


Brian: i have paid work to do, love
ill do that tonight when i get home though

me: they gave you something to do?


Brian: kind of
its a precursor
to what ill be doing
basically


me: neat. what is it?
wait-


Brian: something called Quality Center... basically the hub from which I'll be working


me: when you describe this to me I want you to do so in a way I can understand so describe it as if the program was a unicorn


Brian: where I'll be drawing out test cases and dropping in my reports


me: NOW AS A UNICORN!


Brian:
okay...
my job is to ride unicorns, and make sure that they aren't broken
i ride them, i make them jump things, i make them run, then walk, then prance, then sidestep... all the things that a good unicorn should be able to do


me: oh god. if the unicorn's leg is broken do you have to shoot it?


me: D:


Brian: no


Brian: i send it back to the unicorn factory and they fix it


me: :D


Brian: the guys who make the unicorns... they dont see them as clearly as i do
they may give it all four legs, but maybe one of the legs is on backwards
my job is to discover these little problems, then send the unicorn back to get fixed, with a detailed list of HOW I found the problem. it's less likely to be something MAJOR, like missing a leg... more like, the hoofs are slightly too small and it makes the unicorn unstable and fall over, but only when it runs at a certain pace for a certain amount of time. or the horn isn't strong enough and breaks, but only when you force the unicorn to ram a particular type of tree at a particular angle and a particular speed
its VERY important that I test out every possible material that the unicorn is supposed to be able to ram, and every possible angle, and every possible speed, and document exactly which ones can break the horn
(by the way, breaking a horn doesnt hurt a unicorn... it's like us cutting our fingernails.)


me: This started out as a joke, but I seriously do understand your job SO MUCH better now.


Brian: anyway, not that you care to know this much, but today I was basically given a mechanical unicorn to play around with and get a feel for exactly how to make it do what I want it to
I'm currently waiting for a key to the stables, where the unicorns that need to be tested await me.
It's taking so long because this week happens to be a week where a MASSIVE herd of unicorns are being freed to roam the warm grassy plains of the Fae, completely tested and working flawlessly. There aren't any left in the stable to be tested.

citalopram

                                                       Withdraw Symptoms Include:

Lightheadedness                                                                                    "Electric Jolts"

Headache                                                                                              Unexplained Tingling

Burning Sensation                                                                                   Nausea

Tooth Discomfort                                                                                   Dizziness

 Abdominal Cramps                                                                                Unexplained pain

Frequent Chills                                                                                        Agitation

Irritability                                                                                                Confusion

Mood Changes                                                                                        Vivid Dreams

Sleep Disorders                                                                                        Anxity   

derby for life

Feminist

Star

Light

"You can do anything now," I told her. "Merely think on it. You can be male. You can be female. You can be neither. Seek the Evil Doer as I do and you will never choke on death. But always, whatever your joys, whatever your misery, don't put yourself in danger of the judgement of others. Measure your strength and take care."
- Blood and Gold (Anne Rice)

Boot

Angry Bird

Arts and Science

On my 27th birthday I went to school all day. My boyfriend made the comment that "Only really really good girls go to class on their birthday" and it's true. I told him I had always been a good girl.. with occasional moments of wicked.




My classmate brought snacks to critique, god bless her. She made her own bread. The kind that is long like french bread and twisted. It was perfect. She also made her own hummus. I would have taken photos but I was too busy shoving handfuls of it into my head. This was the first hummus I've ever had and I wanted to put a straw in it and just suck it up. This classmate is also an ex-pilot that is moving to Russia in four weeks. I sort of want to be her.




That morning Shea dropped the car off and caught me coming out of the shower. He yelled, "Oh my god, it's your birthday!" and attacked with hugs. I'm was like a dog when we were dating, if he showed any enthusiasm toward me my tail wagged. He even bought me a card (I'm pretty sure men hate card shopping) and he mentioned how long it took him to find the right one. It must have because he was at my place over an hour later then I expected him to be. The card says, "Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. He sat on your cake and burned his... corduroys."

Then he sang a song about my cat. A homage to how lazy and affectionate she is.




That night I went out with a couple girlfriends for sushi and ice cream. Unfortunately it was race week . Think cheapest Marti Gras you can image. The rednecks were out in full swing walking into oncoming traffic while cheering listlessly for Dale Earnheart . Women younger then me were getting paid to go to bars dressed like casual prostitutes and jump up and down while old men take cell phone photos. Both of which I saw on the way to ice cream.




We ate it on the beach at night while lightning struck over the ocean.

Worth it

Burn

House Wife Haiku

                                                                          oven bunt wrist

                                                                   shiny pink salmon pucker

                                                                      crisp around the edges

Hung Over