Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Plugged In





Brian: lol what do you need, love?


me: find/create a program that posts the same thing to all my blogs. GO!


Brian: i have paid work to do, love
ill do that tonight when i get home though

me: they gave you something to do?


Brian: kind of
its a precursor
to what ill be doing
basically


me: neat. what is it?
wait-


Brian: something called Quality Center... basically the hub from which I'll be working


me: when you describe this to me I want you to do so in a way I can understand so describe it as if the program was a unicorn


Brian: where I'll be drawing out test cases and dropping in my reports


me: NOW AS A UNICORN!


Brian:
okay...
my job is to ride unicorns, and make sure that they aren't broken
i ride them, i make them jump things, i make them run, then walk, then prance, then sidestep... all the things that a good unicorn should be able to do


me: oh god. if the unicorn's leg is broken do you have to shoot it?


me: D:


Brian: no


Brian: i send it back to the unicorn factory and they fix it


me: :D


Brian: the guys who make the unicorns... they dont see them as clearly as i do
they may give it all four legs, but maybe one of the legs is on backwards
my job is to discover these little problems, then send the unicorn back to get fixed, with a detailed list of HOW I found the problem. it's less likely to be something MAJOR, like missing a leg... more like, the hoofs are slightly too small and it makes the unicorn unstable and fall over, but only when it runs at a certain pace for a certain amount of time. or the horn isn't strong enough and breaks, but only when you force the unicorn to ram a particular type of tree at a particular angle and a particular speed
its VERY important that I test out every possible material that the unicorn is supposed to be able to ram, and every possible angle, and every possible speed, and document exactly which ones can break the horn
(by the way, breaking a horn doesnt hurt a unicorn... it's like us cutting our fingernails.)


me: This started out as a joke, but I seriously do understand your job SO MUCH better now.


Brian: anyway, not that you care to know this much, but today I was basically given a mechanical unicorn to play around with and get a feel for exactly how to make it do what I want it to
I'm currently waiting for a key to the stables, where the unicorns that need to be tested await me.
It's taking so long because this week happens to be a week where a MASSIVE herd of unicorns are being freed to roam the warm grassy plains of the Fae, completely tested and working flawlessly. There aren't any left in the stable to be tested.